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Stewie Griffin

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Stewart "Stewie" Gilligan Griffin is the flamboyant and eccentric one year old infant of Peter and Lois Griffin. Stewie, equipped with his teddy bear, Rupert and his laser gun, has, on several occasions, almost single handedly taken over the world and he seems to be obsessed with world domination and matricide. In The Real Live Griffins, he was played by Ashley Olsen. Although he has remained physically one year old since "Chitty Chitty Death Bang", mentally he seems much older, even proclaiming in "I Never Met the Dead Man" to be shooting on a fifth grade level. Stewie is well-spoken, with an advanced vocabulary, an upper-class British accent and an ambiguous sexual orientation. He refers to Peter often as 'The Fat man' and his mother by her given name, Lois. Seth MacFarlane has described him as "an evil Rex Harrison". Stewie is constantly plotting ways to kill his mother, Lois, apparently holding a grudge against her because of his nine-month stay in her "ovarian Bastille." He shares his secrets with his confidant and teddy bear Rupert. Stewie often speaks from the standpoint of a much older person, saying such things as "What is it that you children are into nowadays?" On the show, Stewie engages in extreme violent or criminal acts, including robbery, carjacking, loan sharking, forgery, and killing off many minor characters. The characters he kills off are for reasons such as anger, jealousy, and grudges he holds. Stewie's mastery of physics, mechanical engineering, and firearms are at a level of science fiction. He has constructed advanced fighter-jets, a mind control device, a weather control device, robots, a time machine, a shrinking pod, a teleportation device, and more. Stewie employs these to deal with the stresses of infant life such as teething pain, and his hatred of broccoli or to kill his mother. Stewie also shows infant-like tendencies such as pretending his tryke is an actual vehicle. Stewie's ability to move objects of greater weight than himself is not surprising to other characters, nor is his ability to perform martial arts or retrieve firearms from hammerspace. In "Dog Gone", after he made jokes about Brian killing a dog, Brian asks him how he'd feel if he had killed another baby. He merely replied by telling him he's killed seven, acting as if it was no big deal. He also tries to get children to drink poison. In "Love Thy Trophy" his foster siblings who are each of different races asked him if he wanted to lay down and complete their people rainbow and he suggested that they play "Drink the Stuff Under the Sink" instead. In "Emission Impossible" he went to Lois in his Peter Bot and told Chris and Meg to drink the anti freeze in the garage. Stewie has exhibited some bisexual tendencies, but has thus far only been involved romantically with females. His hobbies include reading, inventing, and plotting. Stewie has also demonstrated exhibitionist tendencies. In "The Former Life of Brian", when Brian's son Dylan moved in to the Griffin household, Stewie pranced around Dylan naked, inviting him to a "tea party." He also told Dylan to take his clothes off. In "McStroke", he framed Connie DiMico at her high school for inappropriately kissing him by stripping naked. After Connie was arrested, Stewie defiantly walked out of the school naked in front of all the students. Stewie, like his mother, has a masochistic personality. This was revealed in "Peter's Two Dads" when Lois spanked Stewie for destroying her pearl necklace. Stewie later confided to Rupert that he found that he enjoyed suffering from such pain, and unsuccessfully went out of his way to provoke Lois several times in the episode into spanking him again. He even had a day dream in which he was tortured by Lois, who was clad in a dominatrix outfit. In "Be Careful What You Fish For", Stewie comes home with his right arm pulled out of its socket, Brian then stuffs Stewie's mouth with paper so he can't yell for Lois. Brian then painfully but successfully puts Stewie's arm back in its socket. After the act, Stewie notes that he won't say if he liked it or not. In "Friends of Peter G", shown in a vision given by Death, Peter enters the kitchen drunk and angry, forcing his family to line up to get cigar burns. After Stewie is burned, he returns in a disguise in hopes to get burned again. In "Total Recall", he claims he plays choking games with Rupert. Early in the series he was portrayed as being completely obsessed with world domination and killing Lois. In "Chitty Chitty Death Bang", It was revealed that after Stewie's birth, the doctor found a map of Europe with plans to bomb its capitals inside Lois. In "Stewie Loves Lois", Stewie's favorite meal is cut green beans, Atkins friendly potato sticks arranged in order of size, from large to small, and a Scooby-Doo yogurt with Shaggy's eyes scratched out. He still wants to kill Lois and take over the world but those traits have taken a back seat, although in select episodes Stewie has exhibited some of his more sociopathic traits, such as aggressively shooting Brian in the leg in "Back to the Pilot". Stewie tried to recapture some of those traits in "The Hand That Rocks the Wheelchair" and ended up creating an evil clone of himself. Despite all of Stewie's evil traits he did genuinely care about Brian. In "Brian & Stewie" he revealed that he considered Brian to be his only friend and the only person in the entire world that he cared about. When ordered to kill Brian by his girlfriend Penelope in "Mr. and Mrs. Stewie", Stewie struggled to do so but eventually chose to spare Brian and protect him from Penelope. He also comforted Brian after Glenn Quagmire ranted about how much he hated him in "Jerome Is the New Black" and informed Brian that he didn't need Quagmire to like him as long as he liked himself. He then added that he liked him and allowed him to sleep in his room. In the "Pilot Pitch", his now-yellow shirt was purple and his now-red overalls were green. In "New Kidney in Town" and "Business Guy" he says he wants to be a race-car driver. In "And I'm Joyce Kinney" it's hinted that Peter may not be Stewie's biological father, as there's a scene in Lois' porno movie Quest for Fur in which Lois was about to have sex with a man that looked a lot like Stewie. Due to the events of "The Big Bang Theory", Stewie is hypothetically 492 years old due to the fact he was in cryogenic stasis. In "Yug Ylimaf" it is revealed that Stewie was born at 11:34 am